THE REAL WAR ON CHRISTMAS

elfonashelfAs far as dumb internet things go, this one has to be my favorite.

Apparently, now there’s an “open letter” to parents who use the Elf-on-the-Shelf at Christmas time.

If you’re one of the self-righteous snarks who have been linking this to all your friends, I’m going to ask – politely – that you stop doing that.

BECAUSE EVERYBODY HAS DUMB TRADITIONS
Every family does dumb stuff at Christmas time. Your silly thing is no more noble than the other guy’s silly thing. Why do care so much about how another family celebrates Christmas? Why not just live your life? Why not just appreciate that there are lots of different types of families with lots of different holiday traditions?

BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO BE AGAINST
Believe me – there are way more important Facebook issues to be worried about. Like your great-aunt who keeps posting articles from The Onion because she thinks they’re true. Or college girls who have worked so hard to document the 400+ pictures of them drinking beers at the lake. Let’s get our priorities straight.

BECAUSE YOU’RE BEING PROUD OF SOMETHING NOT GOOD
The over-arching theme of these anti-Elf posts seems to be something akin to: “stop doing all that Elf stuff / you’re making us look like bad parents. We’re now upset at other parents who are more organized or creative than us? When did we turn into Facebook jocks, making fun of all the nerds because we can’t do what they do? If “Elf” parents make you feel like a bad parent, maybe it’s not their fault.

BECAUSE THERE’S NO MORAL HIGH GROUND
In this debate, someone will eventually shake their head and drop this bomb: “well, I’m just not comfortable using some little plastic Elf to scare my kids into behaving.” That person either doesn’t have small children or is LYING. Because every single parent has tried to bargain with their kids. We’ve all used threats and made deals. Scare kids into behaving? That’s like Parenting 101.

Our family doesn’t do Elf-on-the-Shelf, but we have lots of other stuff that makes our house fun and gets us excited about being together at Christmas. This year, stop being weird and enjoy the people around you.

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